Friday, January 5, 2007

My God List 2007

I found out about Laurel's post here. I have been doing a similar practice for a couple of years now, just not online because I have just started blogging. I had been thinking about blogging in 2007 but had gotten sidetracked by the how and where decisions. Laurel's challenge to link one's 2007 God List before the end of Friday moved me off the fence and onto the web. [Laurel I am sending you an email about the image, I didn't see the email part until I got out here and it's getting tight.]

My Work
Since I finished my degree I have had a job--as in J-O-B--but I am underemployed and underpaid in an industry I don't really value. But the worst part is that I am back to administrating other people's dreams, goals and agendas. And the result is that my education, experience and creativity are starting to dry up from being underused. I went back to finish my BA because it seemed a missing stepping stone to moving into my real (after children) work but so far I haven't found the next stone. I know writing is a big part of where I am going but so far everything that is available has either required something major that I don't have or it is office administration disguised as writing. But asking God to move in the writing /work area is scary because I might get a chance to try something big and blow it; and that would be devastating. But watching everything I learned through my university experience, about myself, my talents and my vision, evaporate is equally devastating.

Church is not an uplifting or supportive experience; and hasn't been for several years. I am fed up with the cliques and cliches. I am tired of the weekly diet of rock-a-fied first-verse-only hymns laced together with mindless repetitions of so-called praise choruses. Now there is the meditation music video segment. Church has become so over-technolized that it is little more than a psychedelic trip. I miss the sanctity of the older services. I miss the open discussion at the church-based university I attended. But at church it seems that different views and different experiences are suspect and sought out to be squelched. Something has to give in this area. I spent a lot of time at my silent retreat on this area and I think I will be investing more in it this coming year.

Friends and Peer Group
I haven't had a safe face-to-face friend or a peer group for a while. The reasons are too complex and personal to explain here, but God knows all about it. I have several old friends who regularly email and I have a few online acquaintances, but this is not fully meeting my social and support needs. Even if it did, I think that face-to-face friends enrich life in ways that corresponding friends are not able.

We made a lot of progress toward getting back to our debt-free status last year despite our patchwork employment and pay scales. Some of that was undone by having a car blow a major part 2 days before the new year but we still made progress and for that we are grateful. But the reality is that we need to make progress at a higher rate this yer. It is demoralizing to see how much of our hard-earned pay goes to stuff other than living. And yes, better paying work overlaps into the My Work category--sorry.

So that is my list for 2007.


1 comment:

Laurel Wreath said...

Thank you for joining me
in the meditations.

I pray you can find a
church that meets your
needs and makes you feel

I also pray more friends
will come you way. And
that you will find
happiness in your work.

Happy New Year.